Posted on Tuesday, 21st February 2012 by chris wignall
Recently I got an email from a young leader I’ve known for many years. The short sentences and urgent tone of the message were unmistakable. He’d just been told that his employer no longer wanted him around.
My heart went out to him. I know how much he’s done to prepare for this kind of role and how strongly he identifies himself with it. I can relate to the raw emotions of being let go. Getting fired is almost always difficult, especially if it’s a job you truly care about. Our immediate reactions in the first 72 hours or so are critical.
I’m not an expert in employment law or Human Resources, but I did send him some advice:
A couple quick suggestions:
-Don’t contact everyone you know for a couple days at least. Let it settle a bit so you’re not just looking to soothe a wounded ego.
-decide now to bless the organization deliberately and consistently; if not you (and especially your family) will become bitter
-do the hard work of asking what is true in the criticism you’ve received and commit to addressing it; pray that the other stuff just washes away
-you are likely to be very vulnerable to some favourite sins; get support and be wiseMy friend; know that your value is not to be found in your job. Your primary and essential is to be a beloved son who trusts his Father. Marinate in that truth until you can believe it
There’s obviously much more that could and should be said, but as I sat in my car pulled over on a quiet road that’s what I wrote to him, and I prayed that he would handle this well as a formative experience in his life and leadership.
What else would you tell me friend? (I’ll let him know he can look here for some thoughts).
Posted in Leadership | Comments (2)
February 21st, 2012 at 9:21 am
Chris, Very relevant post. I think your first piece of advice (not to do anything for a couple of days) is very wise. I think a lot of mistakes can be made in the first 48 hours. I might also add “Don’t use this new-found freedom to take that 5 week cruise you’ve dreamed of”. Many people fall into this trap, losing valuable job search time, and wasting precious resources.
March 5th, 2012 at 8:12 pm
Without disagreeing with your points Chris, I would add how important it is to acknowledge and feel the pain of rejection, of being judged as inadequate, and to grieve the loss. It is when we push our real feelings aside that we end up being too hard on ourselves or expressing it in unintentional ways. I would encourage this person to find a safe place to process the pain in addition to all the good advice you gave.